Oh, Children...

Some days being a mama is smooth sailing. Give those kids a tub full of water on a warm day and let them splash the dog and go naked. They're happy to be playing together and there is no screaming, tattling, whining, or bossing. They share, they chat, they teach each other songs - my job is easy.

Some days they keep themselves occupied with different tasks and need little direction. They respond after the first request, sneak a kiss, and disappear into their imaginations.

Other days I am done by 3:30 p.m. This is roughly an hour after Sebastian gets home from Kindergarten and Ruby is up from her nap. She didn't get one today. The rest is history.

I love my children. I love being a mom. I love when we can enjoy each other's company for a whole afternoon rather than having someone sent to their room for making a bad choice. 

Today was rougher than most. I'm hoping to restructure our afternoons for the next month before summer break hits in order to avoid THE CRANKY and since the weather here is next to perfect we may just be hitting the park every day for an hour before we go to the YMCA. I'm also hoping to make some room for more rest time right after school. Emily Anderson shared how she makes it work as a mama of six and how necessary that rest time is to their family's rhythm on Gussy's blog recently. Raise your hand if you think this is a great idea! 

We've been making Sebastian rest on Sundays in hopes that he'll fall asleep because he's usually much happier with at least a bit more sleep at the end of the weekend but about half of the time he just lays on his bed and reads. I guess I just never thought to carry that out for the rest of the week because...I don't know...maybe I didn't think it was realistic. Then I remember that I can introduce the priorities that are most important to our family life and if I'm/we're consistent there will eventually be change, great or small.

I'm pretty sure life will feel easier in the morning. It usually does. Thank you for the encouragement on Twitter and Instagram Tuesday afternoon. I know so many other mamas are dealing with the same things and it always does my heart good to hear that this is normal and that there are changes that can be made. 

Next time my kids get cranky I'm sticking them in a bucket of water.

-Rachel

Comments

[Amy Jo]

The picture of naked Ruby peering into the dollhouse is absolutely fabulous!

[Sarah]

Gah! Been there, done that. It´s funny to see even though I live across the world from you (in Sweden), our situations as moms are exactly the same :) I have a quote by the very wise man Tim Gunn in my kitchen to help me trough those days: "Make it work".

All the best to you, you´re doing great!

/Sarah

[beetree]

I love the picture with her little feet crossed- so cute! And, as a mama of six, I double Amen quiet time! My oldest is 14, the youngest is 4 months, and we have daily quiet time. It's either nap time (for the younger bracket...and sometimes me!) or quiet time (for the 9-14 crowd) for everyone at the same time. It keeps us all sane, for sure! :) It's definitely worth the initial adjustment period!

[Jess]

i'm a 21yro nanny of three lovely little kids (4, 2, 1) who are basically my own as i work 10 hours a day, 6 days a week.
I started "rest time" for our 4yro, at the same time as his sisters. He has 20 mins, if he sleeps he can stay up late that evening (his parents have started this rule) but otherwise he is allowed to read books or just think. Its a life saver! I couldn't make it through the day without it. We will def be starting Miss 2 (almost 3) with "rests" when she no longer chooses to sleep.

[Amy]

Hi Rachel, I wanted to leave a comment because even though I only have one baby, and a lot of help, I still get this feeling too some days and I really appreciated reading this post and having that great feeling that at least you aren't alone in it!

I've just been looking through some of your older posts, I really love reading your blog and am so inspired by the way you make time for creativity even with two kids to look after - sometimes I read DIYs on other blogs and think "well, that's very nice, but now I'm a mama I don't have the time to make stuff". With your blog it always makes me feel I can because you are doing it on top of having a family too.

I really enjoy reading your lovely blog, thanks for sharing. I hope you have a better day today!

Amy Xxx

www.heynicecardigan.com

[Amy]

Oh, and I forgot to say, I love the photos with this post, your babies are beautiful! One day when the tough days are forgotten it will be wonderful to have this record of their little days : )

[Barnicles]

its lovely to read a true, but realistic blog like this which isn't all hearts and smiles and sugar coated.

We all know the reality of motherhood isn't all cupcakes, sometimes i get broody looking at cute photos and have to remind myself its not all about playing in the park!

Saying that cutest photos ever :) especially the last photos, thanks for the links

barnicles x

[Dee]

i adore Emily (and all her beautiful babies) and i think that an afternoon nap/rest/quiet time is a must-have (esp if you have a few kids, like she does)
because we home school i have kids around me all day every day so i schedule a quiet time - which is basically just time out for me - every day. i need it and they do too.
to be honest Sebastian is most likely just really exhausted from interacting and being well-behaved all day that he just takes it out on you guys when he gets home :)
lots of down time - boring cuddles (where nothing is said or done until he moves on) and reading books together might help?
kindness is the most powerful mood alterer in my experience. (a soft word turns away wrath...)
you'll figure it out. it's all part of the journey :)
~d.

[Danielle]

As a mama to 4 monkeys I hear ya... all the days are good, some are just much harder than others. Do you ever notice that when you put on some rockin music the kids immediately respond? Then when you put on some calm music the monkeys follow suit? When things get crazed around here (the kids get this look in their eyes and I know it has hit that level) we turn everything off. Mellow. The 2 youngest often nod off, books are pulled out to read & paper is turned into works of art. And this mama enjoys a wee bit of serenity, at least for a few minutes. ;-) Then repeat. lol. I hope today is one of the good easier days for you.

[Sarah M]

can't agree enough with this. Our 2 1/2 hour rest time in the afternoon is non-negotiable. It's always been that way for my kids (i.e. in their rooms playing quietly or reading, or resting on the bed since they gave up their naps years ago), and I have my free time to catch up online, workout if it didn't happen in the morning, and sit down and read. I *never* plan anything during that time of the day...for anyone! I highly recommend it.
Consistency always seems over-whelming when making new changes but I really feel it's a lot of work for a short amount of time..for a huge payoff for a really long time.
Sarah M

[ruthie]

Oh boy. I've been there. A LOT. Unlike me, you are thinking on your feet, restructuring your days, planning ahead. I beat my head against the wall and repeat on days like that! You're a great mama.

[katie]

yesterday our "bath time" went from 5:15 to about 6:30. i refilled the tub 3 times. you should have seen the shrivelled toes. . . but at least they were happier!

[sarah jane]

Love your last line! I plan to have "rest time" even after my kids stop napping. I just think everyone needs some alone time and a break to be quiet. We'll see how that goes when I get there! I think so many parents get stuck in a rut and think there's no way out, but you can always reflect and make changes with your kids. Sounds like you've got a plan!

[Rachel @ A Cupcake for Moose]

Isn't it a gift that we get new days to start fresh? Great photos and a great plan. Hang in there, Mama! Glad to know we all have those kinds of days. :)

[jenny]

Rest time is essential. For EVERYONE! Rest time that isn't sleeping is just as important, just to slow down, be quiet for a bit, get some space...

You guys will get through this little growing pain with flying colors, you really will. You are such a good Mama and you guys just moved for goodness sakes! Across states! You should pat yourself on the back for getting everyone settled so quickly (and with such great style)!

Here's hoping today's mid afternoon stretch goes a lot more smoothly!! (And remember, if it doesn't, THAT'S OK)
xo

[Margaret]

Great post! Sharing struggles and the occasional off day are important--I think giving other mamas the illusion that some families are perfect is a discouragement that can come from the blogging community. Thanks for keeping it real! The couple of hours between waking up from naps/emerging from quiet time until dinner/daddy gets home are the worst for us. I've also been thinking about restructuring our days so we can run errands, hit the park or take a walk during that time after a resting period to avoid that 3-6pm slump. One thing that has really worked on weekends for us is super early bedtimes on Saturday nights. We try to do as much as we can on weekends since my husband is home and are usually up and going earlier on Saturdays than weekdays, so our kidlets are exhausted. We try to have them in bed an hour earlier than usual on Saturday nights, which means he gets the extra sleep he needs and mama and daddy can order takeout and watch a movie. It's really a win win for everyone :)

[Jillian {Her Split Ends}]

Your babies are so precious! I love love LOVE the naked pic sitting on the doll house...SO adorable!!

Cheers~
~ Jillian
www.hersplitends.com

[margot]

this made me wanna pour you a nice glass of white wine! cheers mama! you do such an amazing job, you're inspiring!! hope things are looking brighter today. xo!

[Karen Hallberg]

We called the afternoon rest time FOB (flat on bunk). This name doesn't carry the negative "nap time" stigma, it also goes along with the military in your life. The kids liked telling their friends what FOB meant. The kids were not required to sleep (but if it happened, that was good) they could read and everyone got time to themselves and a break from each other. An hour of FOB was required at my house every day until they were driving and had jobs, made the evenings go so much smoother!

[ira lee]

i like the mandatory 'rest time' bc we ALL get wound up and cranky! and your totally right, some days are perfect, some are hell on earth. we gotta dig deep, lasso the last bit of patience we have and continue on.

and ruby's dirty butt is the cutest thing!! i needed a little smile!!!

[ira lee]

oh, one more thing. my son take a nap after the age of 4 was a complete miracle! so dont fret!!! you do well momma!

[Heather]

Beautiful pictures! I don't have any children of my own, but I have worked with kids in a day care setting for plenty of years, and rest time is so important! Even if they don't want to sleep, just laying down, quietly doing something can work wonders in that time period after lunch and before out door play time.

[Laura]

Thanks for your honesty, you seem to handle it all do well.
The best best best book that I have ever read on daily rhythms Nd making sure kids aren't too burned out is simplicity parenting by Kim John payne. Seroiusly worth a read xxx

[Rachel]

I still know that feeling even tho my kids are 9 & 12. They still need their rest time and even naps. I'm glad I am able to homeschool and we can make our schedule to suit each of them.

Vintagehoneybee.blogspot.com

[Vénusia]

When my son stoped taking nap, it was really hard. But slowly I teached him to do a relaxation in his room after lunch. At first it was 10 minutes, but with time it increased (with good books also) and now I can have 1 to 1 1/2 hour relaxation. I think if you have consistency it is realistic that you are going to achieve your goal !

[Clare]

Some days are just tougher ones, and I think that can be okay too. Not always the easiest, but I find on some of our harder days, I find more comfort in owning that it's that way and trying to switch gears just enough to put smiles on our faces again. I have also found how important snacking up the kids is--they are a lot more grouchy if they're not fed all the time! But it sounds like you have some great solutions in the works, so I know you guys will do great.

[jodi]

It's so nice to be able to relate to other moms when some days are rough. I love your honesty in both the good and tough times. I totally agree...rest time, however it looks, it necessary for sanity :)

[emily anderson]

great post, mama!
and hang in there---it'll all come together and you'll be so glad you decided to structure your afternoons more.

[Cassie Stephens]

Wow, I love this. I have no doubt you are an incredible mom because you are constantly reading, learning, changing and growing. Things will get better. I do not have kids but teach 400 in art...and I can easily say that CONSISTENCY is the hardest...but most important part. Especially if you are like me...Mrs. Inconsistent! Great job, mom!

[Mama Smith]

Some days when I can't get my one baby to nap I think about how much more exhausted I'll be when our family grows and I dint get to recharge at nap time. A house quiet time sounds brilliant! And these pictures are just about the cutesy thing ever. That tushy!