On Staying Home and Liking It

Brett and I have put ourselves on a spending fast for the month of January. We've done so with hopes that we'll be able to see how much less we are capable of living on and that we'll be able to make some changes for the rest of the year. It's been a little over two weeks but one of the effects of not spending money on things we don't really need has been spending a lot more time at home.

Spending a lot of time at home is nothing new to me since I'm a work-at-home mama but I usually chomp at the bit to get out of the house and do something almost every day. I am a home body by nature but I also get cabin fever pretty bad. A walking contradiction, I know.

If I don't have a project underway for another blog or my own I find myself growing restless. Give me the choice of staying at home to clean or getting out of the house and I'm already pulling out of the driveway. I'm either headed to the thrift store, the nearest drive-thru coffee window, or the park. I've always got a sidekick and she enjoys going almost anywhere with me so there's little resistance to my plans when it's just the two of us but the effects of those habits are seen in our bank account and in the pile of laundry that's been sitting on our couch waiting to be folded.

You see, I hate doing laundry. I have had a giant pile of clean laundry on one of our couches for two weeks. We've just been getting dressed in the living room. Granted I was sick the whole first week but then I avoided it the second with the excuse that I had to get the Christmas stuff down first. Doing dishes is second on my list of things I don't enjoy and then there's cleaning the tub and mopping the floors. However, with limited options this month of how to spend my morning time because of our spending fast and the single-digit weather, I've found myself being forced to make better choices. 

I've been at the gym every day this week and then showered and dressed and tackling one small task at a time. There's still regular breaks to paint with Ruby, make a snack, or wipe a bottom but our house is more tidy than usual right now. We're not allowing ourselves to eat out or order in (except for that gift card to Poor Richard's pizza) so I've cooked healthful meals each night I've not been sick and Brett's been taking leftovers or store bought meals to work for lunch. What I've most enjoyed though is how removing the option to go spend money has given me the chance to remember that I can enjoy being at home all day every day. My focus has shifted and something has settled a bit inside. 

Holly wrote a post awhile back that I know resonated with a lot of women about slowing down, changing perspectives, embracing her responsibilities with joy, and living a more simple life. It was encouraging to hear she was finding what she needed and letting go of the things that were getting in the way and challenged me to think about whether I was brave enough to examine my own life and take similar steps. I'm not writing off thrift stores and coffee drive-ins over here but I am taking a break from old habits in order to make room for new ones. Healthier ones. 

I'm planning a post or two to share more about our decision to go on a spending fast, what it's looked like for our family, and what other changes we've seen as we move through the month of January. Brett and I are going to sit down at the end of the month and talk about how it's benefited us, see how much we've saved, and what options we want to give ourselves for doing it in the future. If you're curious and want to find out more about what a spending fast is you can read up on this blog. 

Have you ever battled restlessness at home yourself? What kinds of things have helped you feel like you're content where you are? 

-Rachel

P.S. I feel like I've left out the role social media can play in diverting restlessness at home (or being too much of a distraction altogether) and how isolation and loneliness can also play a part in wanting to get out of the house. We do also take advantage of free things in town like the park, the library, play dates at friend's houses, etc. These are all topics I'm interested in talking about in the coming weeks. Topics, yay!

 

Comments

[Christine Gibson]

battling restlessness at home....could talk about this forever! I have a 4 year old and a one year old that I'm with all day everyday and we live in an expensive city on my husband's meager salary so it's a struggle to keep us all entertained...today we visited our furry friends at the petshop, killed 30 minutes in dunkin donuts, went to the playground, baked cupcakes, built block towers, danced, and a zillion other things. it's hard these years when they're little...

[laura kate]

Having been mostly out of work for months and months, I've been dealing with a similar budgetary situation. My husband does well enough to keep us afloat just fine, but the little day trips and coffee and shopping for non-essentials are greatly missed. I totally understand the idea of things piling up even when home all day. Motivation for household stuff is way more tricky than motivation to knit or scrapbook or walk in the park! :)

[Mac]

So insightful! We have close friends that do this every February, INCLUDING groceries! They eat out of their freezer for the month, and ask any dinner guests to bring a salad or fresh fruit. They have helped us so much in our financial lives! If they can do it, and you guys can do it, maybe we should try it, too!

[rebel]

Oh how this post speaks to me. We went on a "spending fast" due to a major move and unexpected 2 mortgages. We still wanted me to stay home so we just set up a strict buget and have really stuck to it. Honestly, at first I thought there's no way in hell this is going to work. I thought for sure we were getting in way over our heads. But we moved to a rual area. Which meant no quick trips to thrift stores for me because I was bored. No going out to eat or ordering in because I don't feel like cooking, theres just not the access out here like there was in the city. I cook what we have and even get inventive when Im missing an ingredent.Its actually been fun, the kids are definetly happier with all the home cooked meals. I keep up on the laundry, the house stays picked up. I still hate dishes but you can't win em all right :)

So 6 months later we have our debt paid down, a large chunk in our savings account, and enough reserve in our bill paying account to cover a whole months worth of bills. Including both of our mortgages we are still paying. Did I mention the railroader cut back on his hours to be home with us more? Honestly; I'm embarressed now that I realize how much we were throwing away every month. It's baffeling really.

But just as you said, there is a flip side. The isolation and loneliness start to wear on you.If I don't have a project to work on I get antsy. I don't leave the house much so I haven't met any friends in our new community. Part of that is due to artic temperatures, so hopefully that will change once it warms up.

Im really looking forward to reading more of your posts on this subject and see what you may have for insight on balancing it out. Thank you for this post mama ;)

xo the Rebel

[Christine Gough]

Thank you for this post....so much meaty goodness to chew on. The links you included are fantastic too. Can't wait to read more in the next few weeks!!!

[leah]

i have been working on cutting back since before christmas, and i have been very happy with the results. i feel it has inspired me to be more creative with what i have... and has even helped me loose a few pounds because i am cooking more at home, driving less, and being more active to keep myself busy. i like the idea of a spending fast, and have been messing around with the idea of it more and more as i have cut back... it may be time to just take the plunge. i look forward to reading more about this as you post!

[rae]

this is a really great post. my husband and i no longer work at the same place so we always want to go "do something" when we do get some free time togher. we have been going to the movies and out to dinner a few times a week. i think a spending fast is just what we need! it will be HARD to give up those estate sales and flea markets though!

[Meg]

I can totally relate to this! I lost my job a couple of weeks ago so I've been spending my days job hunting, cleaning, and cooking for my husband while he's away at work so I can surprise him with dinner. We were CHRONIC going out to eaters. Ha! So not only are we now on an unexpected spending fast but I find myself very restless. But I know if I go out, I'll spend money. And so I'm attempting to find projects to occupy my time! I'm finding so much joy in being in our home a d realizing just as lucky we are to have such a cozy space. I'm looking forward to reading all about your spending fast and how it worked for you guys & hopefully getting back in the work force SOON... I'm running out of laundry to do. ;)

[Jess]

thanks for this! i can totally relate..i live in a rural area , the closest town is 40 minutes away, i dont drive and i have a four year old...so i spend monday-friday (while hubby is at work) at home. a lot of baking goes on and in the cold months we have taken to pinterest, my daughter picks out projects she likes and we spend the week doing them! its so fun! but i do miss getting out, so weekends are when we make trips into town. i think i might just try this fasting thing...i could use the extra $$!

[sarah kate branine]

Oh my. A spending fast? I just don't know how you gals do it! I'm not a big spender per se, but I do enjoy plopping the boys in the car and driving through Starbucks' drive-thru every now and again, if only to regain a few moments of sanity and quiet : ) But this is so good. I'll look forward to reading how this goes for you and gleaning from the things you learn. Go Rachel, Go Rachel! : )

[Jessica]

Thank you for posting this! My husband and I were just talking about taking a spending fast soon and its so encouraging to hear someone else choosing to do so. We choose to be a one income family so I can stay at home with our young daughter so any money saved is a great! I would love to hear more about your journey with this!

[Lillian]

"but I usually chomp at the bit to get out of the house and do something almost every day. I am a home body by nature but I also get cabin fever pretty bad. A walking contradiction, I know." = STORY OF MY LIFE:) Looking forward to hearing more about your spending fast!

[kathryn]

thanks for sharing this!! personal finance/budget is something I don't really see talked about in the RV universe (I read all y'alls blogs... big <3!!) , so I am super interested in seeing what you have to say...

[Rachel]

I would love to try this. I'm slowly whittling away at my credit card debt and it makes me do happy to pay a card off and cut it up. I will check out her blog and I can't wait to see more posts.

Vintagehoneybee.blogspot.com

[Megan @ Boomtown Sisters]

It's the restlessness that gets me, too, so I'm looking forward to those upcoming topics!

[Claudia]

So timely! A job change for hubs out of town and I am home full time again. Never bored but indeed restless now and then. I have a pretty loose schedule, but do follow it. Best break is taking care of large lab who needs fresh air and exercise frequently throughout the day. A fresh snow fall sends me outside too for shoveling, refilling bird feeders or just fresh air. Having outside things to tend helps quite a bit. I have always loved cooking and housewifery all around so it's been fun to reclaim those things and improve a bit. Never undervalue the importance of homemaking. I've also been revisiting things that have been pushed back like volunteering once a week in my field, far different than working in my field, reading more, some handwork, drawing, writing etc. it is a bold move to take a good deep breath and get to know self again!

[Jordan Versluis]

I'm in the same boat! As a full-time at home grad student. I sometimes only go outside to take my dog out and the rest of the time I have to spend working. I think what helps is loving the home you're in. If you can't spend money, you should at least love where you hang your hat. It make it more relaxing and comfortable to spend day after day in.

[Hannah B.]

I've been thinking about this very thing lately. We've been making an effort to eat in for the past few months. 2 Things that have made a big difference: 1.) Inviting friends over. This doesn't have to be expensive, but it definitely adds a little pick-me-up to what I call "a case of the Januarys" and 2.) reading more... the thing about staying in is that we have had a tendency to turn on the tv or Netflix, which was basically turning us into zombies. By enjoying a drink together with NPR on in the background or sitting down and reading more, I've found my mind feels a little more grounded. Can't wait to hear how your "fast" goes!

[Tracie]

We've been evaluating our finances too and making some changes. Eating out was such a big deal when I was a little girl and my kids expect it. We are making it special and we are buying only things we need. It is tough to not run out and spend, just for something to do, but it's good to use what we have and to live within our means!

[Jessy]

great post! i'm especially interested in how you combat loneliness. i moved with my boyfriend to a different country and i'm searching for work. i don't know many people here except for some colleagues of my boyfriend. i'm at home all week and feel very lonely.

[gretchen]

how this post resonates! i work out of the home part time and am home the other days, and have SAVORED the quieting down of January--i am really growing to love the trees stripped bare, the urge to clear out, the quieting down time. i too am skipping coffee & thrifting and trying to be outside more, hiking or just exploring the parks...free, restorative to the soul, and lovely for photographing: www.mamaforpeace.blogspot.com

[Hayley]

I battled with this also. When my daughter was younger we joined a MOMS Club and it really changed our day to day lives. It was awesome. I've since moved from that area and am having a new baby. Our new town doesn't have a MOMS Club so I am worried. I may have to start one myself!

[Ardelle Leung]

How in the world, with the internet, did I really think I was the only one who felt like this?! I'm a mother of two boys (7and 1 year old) and I get unbelievably restless. I love thrifting. I honestly feel like I have withdrawals when it's been a while since I've gotten my thrifting high. But it adds up to crazy amounts. Amounts that blow me away when I sit down and do the math. So not only for this month but this entire year, I've got to pull on the thrifting reigns. And the eating out was much of the same as many of you have shared. But I think eating out and thrifting are ways I cope with my really needing to get out and be a part of something bigger than my home and daily tasks. I'm trying to find the balance and enjoy the small, simple, free things in life.
Thanks so much for your post :)

[Naomi]

What a great post. Laundry is so annoying! My son calls our bedroom laundry mountain. I find I'm a much happier person if I can get out of the house once a day too. Thank goodness for the library :)

[Whitney Bilodeau]

At home now and restless to get out! Took a moment to look up a few of my favorite blogs (something I haven't indulged in for quite some time) and here is this amazing post that SO hits home! My husband set up a budget for us this past week after seeing the numbers in our bank account plummet after the holidays. Honestly I know a lot of the spending is caused by the "errand fever" I seem to have. Every day out the door by noon to grab a coffee, stop at the book store to scout out the newest issues on the magazine rack...my favorite mag...$14.99, my goodness it all adds up so quickly. Something that seems so innocent... like a few great finds at the thrift store! Ugh. I'm thrilled you post this and look forward to reading the links you shared! Thank you so much! Best of wishes on your spending fast! Thanks for always inspiring!

[Robin]

What a wonderful post! I am a brand new mama and can barely handle staying home right now to 1. save money 2. avoid my newborn being around the flu 3. learning to feed my baby. It is amazing how good it feels to just go for a walk around the block. Thank you for the post!

[Brianna]

I'm on a self-imposed spending freeze now that I have a two week cruise to Hawaii coming in October. I've foregone using the library as my office in favor of working at home (thus removing the need for lunch out and a mid-afternoon pit stop at the Starbucks 200 feet away). Like you, I like to be at home but I also get cabin fever. I find that I can't deprive myself of something, though. I just want it all the more. Like, I can't say I won't eat any junk food because that's all I'll eat, but I can say, I get one thing today and that's it. I can say yes to Starbucks once or twice a month instead of once or twice a week. The key is moderation.

[Anna Newell Jones]

Can totally relate Rachel! I love staying home but get easy restless too. I seem to do best when I work-out or get out of the house somehow first thing in the morning. Whenever I just sit at the computer all day I get SO depressed. I think movement is key for me.

And so happy you're committed to doing a Spending Fast! It's such a major life-changer. xo,anna

[Sarah J.]

i totally hear you. i have my dream job as a stay at home mommy, but there are so many days that i just want out of the house and cleaning get's pushed off. a good friend recently reminded me that i don't just GET to stay home, but it's my job. that cooking and cleaning and laundry are my work. and while they don't bring in an income, they are vital to our family's functioning and happiness. it was wonderfully convicting! so we've been turning up the music and timing ourselves to see how much work we can get done in 15 minute segments throughout our day. our house is slowly looking better and better! :)

[Danielle]

What an amazing idea. I love thrifty living and it has made such a great impact on my life and my family's life. We started spending less last year and have kept it going. Good luck and if you need any tips or tricks to cutting that grocery bill while you are spending less, check out my blog. I blog about what my family does to live on less (like only $14,000 a year). I have meal plans, crafts, homeschool stuff, etc. Good thrifty living tips.

Danielle @Blissful and Domestic
www.blissfulanddomestic.com