July, You Were a Good One

Remember that time last summer that my blogging became sporadic and then I told everyone I was pregnant? Yeah, that was rough. This summer it's just been full of life with three kids, contributor posts for A Beautiful Mess, e-course prep, our California vacation, a dog needing minor surgery and constant supervision, and the glass of orange juice that killed our lap top. I have blinked and school is almost upon us again! 

I was walking around Disney developing a post in my head about traveling with kids that I've forgotten most of my tips about and have wanted to share more about Smith's birth story lately and reflect on how challenging the last part of last year was for our family. So many blog post ideas and so little time to get them into this space. Sometimes it makes me sad that I can't offer more time to this blog because I know that even though it's a public place and I write to share things with an audience in mind, so much of this is just for me. The process of making things, the weekend stories about where we went, the photos of our messy house one week and a room tour the next-it's all so I can remember how this worked five or ten years from now. 

Sometimes I ache to record it all and then other times I wonder what I'm so worried about forgetting. The details, I suppose. This can't be the Truman Show but if there was someone following us around three times a week filming us and turning out highlight reels (with some lowlights included for good measure), I think I'd be on board with that. As long as that person didn't comment on how many days I go between washing my hair and they'd need to work for coffee and diy projects because that's what my cup is overflowing with these days.

I think this may be me coming out of a season of tiredness and privacy and into a season of connection again. Last year left me without much left to give after tending to the important stuff but I'm figuring it out again and the fog is thinning. It's still here but I can see a bit further on each month! It feels good. 

With that, I'm promising nothing but hoping for something to show up that has been a bit absent. Words with humor and heart instead of just instructions, peeks into our space even when it's out of sorts and without feeling the need to justify our messes. We're messy people and I feel bad about it a lot. I'm working on being less messy while also acknowledging the struggle is real. An update to the design of this space as it's long over due. I've been reading through Promise and Elise's Blog Design Love 2.0 class and am hoping to make those changes myself in the following months. 

We're also less than three months away from some big life changes. We'll be finished with the Army and moving back to Springfield, Lord willing and the creek don't rise. Big unknowns and big hopes are ahead and with that brings all the feelings. We're going to miss our friends here that have helped our time here feel a little less challenging on those most challenging days. We're also going to miss the huge mountain that takes up half of the windshield view when I'm driving downtown. A new chapter. Also, trying to stay present whilst we transition.

I'm hoping to share most of that in the appropriate ways in this space and thank you for stopping by every now and then to share in our lives. This space and this medium are so valuable to me.

-Rachel

Comments

[Megan]

Yep. Been there. The struggle is real. Big life changes. With a new baby to boot. We're doing that as well. My husband is on his terminal leave now, and come October 1, we will be cut off. I got a job teaching so we will be ok. Also, the GI bill will be covering our rent. You will be ok too. I promise. It's really great to know we're not alone.

[Kate @ Songs Kate Sang]

I'm so glad that the fog is lifting for you. That is such an amazing moment when you catch a glimpse of a deep breath.

[silke]

I'm not sure what "done with the Army" means; I am not a local, nor a US resident for that matter. I do hope that it just means 'a new adventure', and not scary deep dark holes where you don't know what's next. I wish you and your family all the best, and the courage to keep going. Did you read this blog post from Ashley Ann about jumping in eyes closed? http://ashleyannphotography.com/blog/2014/07/28/jumping-in-eyes-closed/ If not, you should. It's a good one.
Lots of kind and warm greetings from Belgium,
Silke

[hannah]

I've loved the efforts you have made and I also love how candid you are about the rough times. In no way can I understand your situation or how rough it was but I can appreciate that when things get tough they go all out, it's never just a little bump, it's always a hurdle.

I'm looking forward to reading more, you are definitely one of my 'must reads' and every time you post, I am more than a little eager to read what you've got to say!

Hannah

[Stephanie Loudmouth]

The unknown can be so scary, yet exciting! Can't wait to read all about your new adventures.

[Sarah M]

A lot of us have been here for years (I've been here since Sebastian was an only-child tyke!) and we're not going anywhere. Having babies is challenging and all about survival mode. I think it'd be so much harder doing it solo for part of the year.
I'm glad you're wanting to write again. Don't feel bad about the 'quiet times'. It's good to be reflective and you are a very thoughtful blogger. I think you are more honest than most, and it comes across as very sincere.
Sarah M

[Kathleen]

I wanted to comment today just to say how much I relate, and also that I appreciate your blog in all its forms. Whether it's your craft ideas or honest thoughts about life with kids, whether you are posting regularly or taking a break, I will be here following because yours is one of the good ones!

Hoping for renewed energy and inspiration for you. It's such an exciting time to realize that you're coming back to yourself when you didn't even realize you were missing. :)

[Dyan]

I love the way that you write and share and give us a peak into your beautiful life. I'm sad that I didn't take advantage of living in the same town with you a little more. But I'll be excited to so where your life goes after you move back to MO. Life is a funny thing isn't it? Much love Rachel!

[Gloria Collar]

I'm messy too. And I'm glad your on your way back. I check your blog everyday for something new. Your in my favs.

[kristin]

I feel like I'm just blinking and "waking up" now that C is sleeping through the night and I had a pretty crazy rough year in 2013 too, so I'm with ya there. I'm so happy to see you posting and creating again, though. Another longtime reader that will be here as long as you are! I'm also pretty excited that Brett will be done with the potential risk of the Army sending him off somewhere and home with you guys for good!

[Molly]

I try not to think about you guys moving back to MO…but, it's coming sooner rather than later :( I'm glad we got to meet each other through the school…and the internet can keep us connected when you move! I'm also glad that with all of the big changes coming up, you're headed to a place with lots of support. It's time for your friends and family to get to see your 3 adorable children more often!!

For your readers who haven't had the chance to get to know you in person...your blog is a true depiction of you: caring, creative, and inspiring! ;)

[camille columbia]

thank you for sharing this.

[[email protected]]

Long time reader here
Your blog is one of my top absolute favs. I feel like it has everything I love in it. It's lovely to watch you on your life adventure, it gets me (non blogger) thinking and reflecting on mine. I have no time at all to document mine, and how you manage to document yours, whip up tutorials, sew things, weave things,create things, boggles my brain!
Wishing you luck in your new days ahead. It sounds like a happy thing! And know you got through that hard time and are moving on and up! And can I just say how excited I am that you are moving!!!! It means a new house for me to see you work your magic in!
Best wishes
Amy

[a touch of domesticity]

This space means so much to us, your readers too. So many blogs these days have become polished, sanitised views of a magazine-style life and yet yours has managed to remain true. How you manage to keep being so inspiring yet never make us feel inadequate (like most other blogs) I don't know, but pat yourself on the back and be kind to yourself: we all think you're fabulous!