Smile And Wave

Sebastian's Room Makeover

Sebastian's room makeover has been in the works since January but I finally put the finishing touches on it last week and he is one happy kid! We ended up with a slightly Star Wars themed room but I made sure the main elements that we purchased were items that will last him through any specific phase he's in and still feel cool in his teenage years. Also, I can't believe we're even close enough to the teenage years to start thinking about that!

There were four main challenges that presented themselves with this space that I kept in mind while choosing pieces for his new room. The first was making sure it was designed so that he still felt like it was an accurate reflection of his interests while also feeling like it was put together with a plan. The second was introducing pattern without going with full-on preppy stripes or woodsy plaids. The third was to use darker colors without making this already dark room feel like a cave. The fourth was finding a way to work within the limitations of a rental home. As with all of our home projects, we were working on a bit of a shoestring budget so I had to stay flexible with my design, resourceful in finding new pieces, and patient in how quickly it all came together. 

Here is a before and after of this corner of his room. It's a downstairs, L-shaped room on the dark side of the house. It has lovely high ceilings, an attached bathroom (you can see the door in the before image), and a large walk-in closet that used to be part of the porch (not shown). It was shared in the rental listing as a fourth bedroom that could also be used as another family room since it was so big. When we first moved in we used it as our master bedroom and had Smith's crib in here as well. Then we did some musical room switching and Sebastian ended up downstairs.

His original bed frame that went with the mid-century headboard lost some parts during our last move and then life got really busy really fast so we just kept his mattress and box springs on the floor with the headboard kind of propped up against the wall. With so much extra space, we would stash extra chairs or random big toys in here when company was coming over and then they'd just stay in here. We even had Christmas decoration boxes stashed in a corner for at least two months! We taped up his huge dinosaur drawing mural in one corner but there wasn't much else in this room that was done to either of our tastes. Thankfully he was patient as we came up with a plan and the time to execute it!  

Here you can see the door that leads to the downstairs bathroom. It creates an L-shaped room that can be a little awkward for furniture placement but we finally came up with something that works. 

Rearranging Basics 

This is the wall where his headboard used to rest against. It also dips down lower than the rest of the room. Old house problems! By finding a new place for his bed that would make better use of the unique shape of the room, I was able to carve out stations for lounging, homework, storage, and a gallery wall. 

This space is now a little nook where we hung shelving from IKEA and created a little homework station. He now has a place to display some of his stuff without Smith getting into it! I went with white broadcloth and sewed my own curtains for these odd-sized windows. This one looks out into the backyard and offers great morning light on sunny days. By using pattern and color in other elements, I felt good about keeping the curtains white in order to avoid darkening the room any further with colored curtain panels. 

Incorporating Pattern 

There aren't quite as many easy patterns to incorporate in a pre-teen boy's room as there are for little men or girls at any age. You can fall back on stripes and plaids but then that can feel preppy, nautical, or woodsy pretty quickly. Nothing wrong with those if that's what you're into but I wanted something a little different. I searched for a rug for weeks knowing I'd probably inspire the rest of the room and finally found this Safavieh Handmade Cambridge rug on Overstock. The pattern was perfect and I knew the rug would last forever since it was wool. It was on a great sale so I jumped! 

I then got the idea to do a similar repeat pattern on the walls with the Walls Need Love Easy Stripe. I had been overthinking what kind of wall design I wanted to add based on how easy it would be to recreate, how cost-effective it would be, and whether or not it would feel special enough to share. I thought about doing diagonal stripes across the whole wall and even entertained a repeating hashtag pattern (still love this one but I imagine it would be a LOT more work) before realizing this kind of repeating arrow pattern not only felt cool enough for a pre-teen room, it went well with whatever Star Wars vibe this room was starting to develop.

Having a pattern on the floor as well as the wall felt like a great balance to having a lot of solid colors in the bedding, curtains, chair, and other furniture items. I didn't want to go overboard but I do think patterns can make a space feel more layered. I'd like to eventually add in more pattern with a handmade quilt at the end of his bed and as many throw pillows as he'll let me get away with! 

Designing without Losing Personal Touches

I utilized storage pieces I loved that added to the design of the room in order to stash away some of the special toys and keepsakes that had made things feel cluttered. The thrifted set of lockers now hold all of the Star Wars magazine posters that Sebastian had taped to his walls. He was really attached to them so we decorated the inside of the lockers like they do in all the jr. high sitcoms. I then let him pick out these two Star Wars posters from Etsy that felt a little more artistic and fit frame sizes we already had. Here are a few more of our favorites: Here, here, here, here, here.

We rolled up the mural of dinosaur drawings and will hang it up in the huge closet in this room (not photographed yet) and then made a designated gallery wall for new artwork he and a friend had made of themselves as Star Wars characters. I used more of the red Walls Need Love Easy Stripe vinyl tape to hang everything on the wall to add another bit of red and to add some consistency to the different drawings and paintings. 

Going Vertical

This shelf unit from IKEA was in our bedroom for awhile but felt out of place so I brought it to Sebastian's room and placed it over his vintage school desk to create a homework station that can also keep some of his favorite toys out of his brother's reach.  The large acrylic letter S is vintage and has made an appearance in almost every room design we've done over the few years and the Washington license plate is from our brief but exciting time living in Seattle. Sebastian was born there but is religiously opposed to supporting the Seahawks since the Broncos are his team. It's one of those keepsakes I put out more for my own amusement than his. 

When styling this space I made sure I didn't overfill it with everything he owns so it wouldn't feel too heavy. I also staggered items according to height and bulk to make it aesthetically pleasing. It was easy to find repetition in the colors red, blue, and black since almost everything he owns falls into that color story. Thanks Marvel comics. 

Also, I'm not opposed to putting holes in the walls as long as they are secure and won't create larger holes down the road. Life is too short to have bare walls when you know you'll be in a rental for more than a year in my opinion! Learn how to patch them and enjoy the difference shelving and artwork make!

I did purchase a lounge chair at a wholesale furniture shop that I stopped by on a whim that I wouldn't necessarily have chosen for anywhere else in the house. It's not a piece of furniture that will outlast his teen years but it's comfortable and stain-resistant and a great spot for reading upside down or sideways with his legs hanging over the arms. He also has a neighborhood friend that hangs out over here after school and I wanted to provide another place to sit other than the bed or the floor. 

I also attached one of his X-Wing Starfighter toys to a string to make that corner a little more fun. It's made from foam and I think has a few missing pieces so he was fine with me suspending it in mid-air. 

This boy finally has a finished space to enjoy after such a long wait and I'm so thankful that I was able to work with Walls Need Love to make it special. Check out the tutorial for how I worked my repeating arrow magic here. If you're a renter and in need of something affordable and fun for your walls, I can't sing their praises enough. 

Now that Ruby and Sebastian's rooms have had some attention, I'm thinking it may be time to start working on our own! Keep your eyes peeled for a wish list post in the next few weeks. Thanks for coming back again and again to see what we're up to over here. Your presence is appreciated!

-Rachel

Smith's 2nd Birthday

Even though I've already been through this whole getting older every year thing with my first two, the days since Smith's last birthday have flown by with warp speed. I love that everyone can sit in their own chairs and feed themselves, that all three kids can pretty much tell me what they need, and that we are THAT MUCH CLOSER to the day when we are a diaper-free household but still...did we skip a month? Was it September? I don't remember much from September. 

As a blogger of almost ten years (WHAT!) I can't not decorate for a cute little birthday backdrop. I've tried and I start to twitch. I'm not going to be painting watercolor napkin rings and hand-carving cake toppers or anything but a few specific details here and there can go a long way. Hosting big birthday parties at our house is not my...umm...natural gifting so we've just kept it low-key for Smith's first two years and had cake and opened presents with just us and have face-timed all of our out-of-town family and had drop ins from in-town family. All he really wanted, according to his most recent awareness of them in all of the books we read or shows he's watched, are balloons. Party City made that one easy on us.

I made the cake the afternoon before and had it scooted back on the kitchen counter out of Smith's usual range. I was getting ready to head to Party City but had to make a powder room stop and made note that Smith was in the living room with Brett and the big kids. Ten seconds later I hear the pitter patter of two-year-old feet run past the bathroom to the kitchen and hollered at Brett to get him. As soon as I got to the kitchen, I saw he had made quick work of his need to taste test his cake. There were tiny little finger swipes all over one side (see above) and frosting covering his little hand. Apparently, nothing is safe unless it's under lock and key. 

The next morning on his actual birthday I brought him downstairs and he squealed with delight when he saw his balloons. It was day full of phone calls, sugar, and toys with plenty of time outs but still a day full of memories. Brett kept the kids outside while I got the cake decorated and then I let Smith come in so I could get some pictures of just him. He wasted no time in getting back to his cake so I decided it was better to just roll with it. It made for some pretty darling pictures the second time around. 

We're so thankful for this sweet boy! He slept all night in his own bed last night for the second time in a week so I'm counting that as his birthday gift to his mama and hoping there's more where that came from. We've got spring break this week and great weather this morning so it's time to get moving. Thanks so much for all of Smith's birthday wishes on Instagram. If you're interested in making a candy explosion cake topper, Party City has a pretty great selection of individually wrapped candy for getting things just so without having to purchase twenty of everything. 

Thanks for sharing in these milestones with us!

-Rachel

 

Ruby is Six! Say What?

We celebrated six years with our sweet Ruby a few weeks ago and never before have I felt like she's actually looked and acted so much older than this time. Suddenly those legs are so long, her bangs have finally grown out, her baby teeth are coming out two at-a-time, and I see flashes of her teen years with certain head-tilts and sassy looks. I love watching her grow into herself with each new year. 

We decorated our dining room a little for our family party on her actual birthday and she helped me make her cake. She's all about decorations and treats so it was extra thrilling for her to help with her own party prep. Stacie Bloomfield of Gingiber sent over some of her beautifully illustrated wrapping papers the week before her birthday and they were perfect for her animal and nature-loving gifts. We also pulled out some white butcher paper from IKEA and she crawled up on the dining room table to design her own wrapping paper for the rest of her gifts. 

We celebrated the next afternoon with friends at a bounce house. It was the kind of generic party I never thought I'd throw my daughter but the complete joy on all of those little faces over pizza and cupcakes and fruit punch was worth it. The party room came with a host and hostess and getting to enjoy our company and finish conversations was my second favorite part. 

I remember celebrating her fifth birthday like it was last month. We'd only just moved into this house after a major cross-country move and career change and were still up to our eyeballs in boxes. I'm so thankful for these kids that go with the flow and have helped us establish so many special layers of memories this year. 

Ruby, you're my special middle child with all of the sunshine and silly-ness we so often need in our day-to-day lives. Thank you for being ours and for playing such an important role in life already. You're my best girl. 

Love,

Mama
 

Halloween 2015

I have to at least get this year's Halloween festivities blogged so there is some record of our fun. Ruby and I decorated a week prior with our lacey ghosts outside and some pumpkins and owls inside and then we finally managed to get to the pumpkin patch the day before Halloween and ran into some old friends from the kids' last school. Halloween day was spent finishing up costumes and letting the kids' have a neighborhood friend come over to play. It was almost 3 o'clock before I realized we hadn't yet carved pumpkins so we did that in a hurry and then rushed inside to fill our bellies for the long night of walking ahead!

The big kids both chose their own costumes early on this year. Ruby was going to be a pink butterfly so we found some worn out butterfly wings at a thrift store and took apart a pink, sparkly H&M dress that no longer fit her to retrofit some new wings. Then we slipped some glow-in-the-dark necklaces inside each wing panel so she'd be easy to spot after dark. Unfortunately, we forgot to take a photo with her wings showing! 

Sebastian went as the robot from his favorite movie this year, Real Steel. It came out a few years ago so we were out of luck finding any licensed costumes on Amazon and decided to try our hand at making our own. I found a few random elements from old costume pieces at one major thrift store in town and then cut out a few pieces of black foam to create a robot type costume. It may or may not have ended up looking like a knight's costume. My bad, Sebastian. Also, no one knew who he was supposed to be but he still scored plenty of candy! 

Smith had no say over his costume. I went as Miss Frizzle, one of the kids' favorite storybook characters, and it only made sense that he would go as Liz, the lizard. I literally walked into the same big thrift store and found his costume two minutes later. I had him put it on every day leading up to Halloween to condition him that dressing up is fun and totally not scary or uncomfortable. He didn't keep his hood on most of the night but he was all about carrying his bucket up each walkway to say hi to everyone. He also discovered dum-dums (the candy, not the pacifiers). 

I sprayed my hair orange and then had to wrap my head in a t-shirt before bed because I was too tired to even take a shower and wash it all out. It was another fun year trick-or-treating in one of the prettiest historic neighborhoods in town along with 4,000 other families and their strollers. I successfully snuck all the Butterfingers from the kids' stashes and reminded myself these are the memories that are worth making no matter how much effort is needed to make them special. 

Next year, though, I'm skipping the orange hair.

-Rachel

4th of July Birthday Decor

Our 4th of July celebrations are always doubly special because we also celebrate Sebastian's birthday. It's insane to me that we're doing this again already! WE JUST CELEBRATED HIS EIGHTH! 

I decorated the dining room the night before because he's always the first one up and I wanted him to start his day with a little ping of excitement, even if no one else was up to share in it! Ruby is our night owl so she colored him a card while I hung the fans and arranged the balloons.

Sugar Confetti Shop so generously sent us some decorations that I picked out from their online shop. I knew I wanted some huge balloons but I had NO IDEA they were THIS BIG! I sent Brett to Party City to get them filled with helium the night before and he almost didn't get them all in the car. I got a text as I was putting Smith down that he didn't think they'd all fit and I thought I was going to have to wake Sebastian up and haul all three sleepy kids into the night in order to squeeze one of the giant balloons into our second car but he finally texted back that he'd figured it out. SUCCESS! I know there's some sort of analogy about square pegs and round holes here...or round balloons and rectangular cars.

Sebastian got some really fun gifts from family members and was especially thrilled about a new bike that doesn't leave him hunched over. It was time to upgrade from the one he got when he was four! 

After opening presents and having breakfast, Brett took the big kids to see the movie, Inside Out, and I finished making the cake. I'd done the base layers the night before and wrapped them in saran wrap so no curious early risers would get into them but my birthday boy thought they were brownies for some reason and dug in. It wasn't a total lost cause and who can be mad at the birthday boy for having his own cake? I mixed up a little extra cream cheese frosting and filled that hole with extra love.

It was funny watching Smith dig in. He looked like he still remembered how this worked from his birthday a few months ago. I am glad I remembered to take his shirt off before handing him some cake.

"Can we do this every month, Mom?"

We finished off the afternoon with pizza and S'Mores around a bonfire per Sebastian's request. What really happened was I took Smith on a walk downtown while Brett and the kids made S'Mores and got eaten alive by mosquitos. Toddlers and bonfires aren't my favorite mix right now so we resorted to the trusty divide and conquer method of parenting. We then piled into the car and drove to the top of a downtown car park for a quieter view of the fireworks. We could see them spread out in different neighborhoods all over the horizon and got to avoid a crying baby that doesn't quite understand what's going on. Despite everyone being over tired, full of sugar, and cranky at the end of the night, it was a successful day of celebrating both our country and our son!

Last year was celebrated in Colorado Springs at Memorial Park with thousands of people and a terrified baby. The year before that we'd just sent Brett off to Kuwait and I found out the same day I was pregnant with Smith! Oh, how quickly time passes.

I hope you had a lovely 4th of July weekend (if you're in the States), too. Mosquitos and all.

-Rachel

Details: Honeycomb, fans, plates, cups, balloons, and candles c/o Sugar Confetti Shop.

Going On Walks with Kids

Summer is finally here to stay in Springfield, MO and we've been making the most of those warm summer nights by taking daily walks downtown. I load up all three kids and between the Ergo baby carrier and our jogging stroller, I get plenty of exercise and the older kids get to run off their extra energy. We sometimes sneak out in the morning before it gets too warm, too.

It's been one of my new ways of coping with life in general lately. I've been enjoying the exercise and endorphins and am so thankful we are this close to some fun downtown joints. Not everyone gets to walk three blocks to the library, a cupcake shop, a donut shop, three hole-in-the-wall burger joints, four coffee shops, all while meandering down colorful alleys with plenty of bike riding room without fear of getting run over. It's been such a perk of living here.

Also, when you walk to the donut shop, it almost cancels out the donut.

Have you been rediscovering anything about your town this summer?

-Rachel

 

 

Put Your Heart to Paper with Hallmark

I have shared here before how much I want to be better at putting pen to paper and following up gifts with thank you cards, sending cards to loved ones out of the blue, and remembering to get birthday wishes in the mail so that THEY'LL ARRIVE ON TIME.

I'm always working on making sure my message isn't cliche because words are powerful and getting specific can take a card from being a nice gesture to a treasure they'll hold on to for years. Those kinds of cards don't happen all the time (and that's why they're extra special) but I want them to happen when it matters most.

When Hallmark asked if I was interested in sharing about their Put Your Heart to Paper campaign for Mother's Day, I wrote back (ahem, e-mailed back) right away. They sent over a selection of both playful and sentimental cards and I picked out four that I knew each of the mothers and grandmothers in my life would enjoy. 

The top card has sparkly pink glitter paper under the 'Loved' cut out and my Meemaw is all about the sparkle so I chose that one for her. She's been a mother for almost sixty years and even though she's not my mother, her influence in my life is felt in so many of the ways my own mama parented us. I hope she understands how special she is to all of the kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids she now has! 

The card directly under that has a hand-held mixer on it and reads 'Good moms let their kids lick the beaters'. On the inside it reads 'Great moms turn the mixer off first'. It reminded me of my mom because she loves to bake and makes a point to make cookies with the kids every time we visit. I inherited her sweet tooth but didn't start baking much until we moved to Colorado and now we have matching Kitchenaid mixers.

Every time I pull it out to make brownies I remember her sharing how my Meemaw got her finger stuck in one when my mom was a little girl and I am always extra aware of not making the same mistake. You can bet my kids have heard that story and will always remember, too! I hope it reminds my mom that those memories my brother and I made with them growing up not only stay with us, they get shared with our own kids. All of those moments invested in our lives are still there.

The card that reads 'The best moms get promoted to Grandmas' got a little adjustment because my dad's mom has always been Grandmother to us. In fact, our kids often get cards sent from her with the addition of 'Great' written in front of the printed 'Grandkids' text so I think she'll appreciate the customization. We didn't get to grow up in close proximity to either set of grandparents but they didn't let that stop them from being a big part of our lives.

They were always intentional about calling regularly, sending gifts and cards exactly on time, planning trips for us to visit them, taking us on vacations every summer to make fun memories, blessing my brother and I with a car on our 16th birthdays and laptops when we went off to college, etc. They've blessed in more ways to count beyond that and I hope this is a reminder to my grandmother (and granddad) of how we will always appreciate them and the work they've put into our lives.

The last card with the olive green inside is for my sweet MIL, Cheryl. She's always been so welcoming and gracious to me since even before I joined their family and I so admire her strength, work ethic, and hospitable nature. I know how fortunate I am to have a good relationship with my MIL and I know part of that is because we both love a good garage sale! Ha! She and my mom have both been extra supportive and appreciated in our lives this year as we've transitioned states and careers. We are so fortunate to have such strong examples of love in our lives and I couldn't ask for better examples for myself and our own kids. 

Hallmark has a long history of creating beautiful cards for all of the different kinds of relationships out there and all of the levels of intimacy shared between two people. Their purpose is to promote intention and thoughtfulness and to allow people to share their hearts even when it's not always easy to get the words out right. I love that.

I watched the Put Your Heart to Paper campaign video (scroll down when you get to this link) and got a lump in my throat for all of the ways the sons and daughters opened up about their relationships with their own mothers. It's a tearjerker so be warned! It's also really beautiful so if you're in need of a little nudge to the sentimental part of your heart, press play. 

You can find Hallmark on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Twitter to learn more about their selection of cards for Mother's Day and watch the other videos in their #PutYourHeartToPaper campaign here. 

Now, let's hope my mom, MIL, grandmother, and meemaw don't see this blog post until Sunday.

-Rachel 

 

Note: I am being compensated for sharing this post with you but the content and opinions are my own. I'm so happy to continue to work with brands that fit the Smile and Wave aesthetic and support time spent sharing here.  

Thoughts on Expectations and Mother's Day

Mother's Day is fast approaching (May 10th in case you needed a reminder) and with it the annual battle against expectations of how Mother's Day should unfold. It's often between my longing for that ideal opportunity to be relieved of all motherly duties so I can spend some time solely focused on myself without any threat of self-imposed guilt, and the reality of running a household and caring for three young kids. 

It's not a unique battle, I'm sure. It's so tempting to host thoughts of handmade cards delivered with breakfast in bed after a full nine hours of sleep, followed by an afternoon lounging by a pool before treating myself to some shopping and a movie all by myself. It's tempting to wish for one day I wasn't needed and every treat I could imagine was lavished upon me as a reward for all of the sacrifices made the rest of the year for working so hard to be a good mama. It would all be well received and we are all (mamas in all forms) so deserving. 

However, most nights I get an interrupted seven hours of sleep and wake to someone having spilled the milk trying to get their own cereal. Brett will make me coffee but then I'll have to heat it back up two hours later once my youngest stops trying to scale our wingback chair and goes back down for a nap. I'll sit down with a magazine only to have two energetic kids race through the house to go outside, slamming the back door and subsequently waking the baby early enough that the rest of our afternoon continues to be pretty loud. I see some understanding nods. 

Every year I tell myself it's just another day of being a mother and that I'll enjoy an indulging day to myself when they're older and less needy. Then I will inevitably sabotage those noble thoughts with feelings of self-pity when someone throws a fit at lunch. Even though it's just another day with young kids, it all feels harder and less fair on those elevated days of honor. 

That's the problem with expectations. They almost always leave us wanting.

Yes, our house is loud because it is full of voices and bodies that I get to call mine. Yes, they forget to flush the toilet 95% of the time but that is their greatest fault. They forget to flush the toilet. I should thank my lucky stars that all I worry about with my kids right now is germy hands. Yes, I have regular dark circles under my eyes but I get to wake up to care for a baby we longed for and didn't think we'd get to enjoy. He, too, will someday forget to flush the toilet 95% of the time but I'll get the privilege of reminding him. 

This Mother's Day I'm refocusing my lens and my heart. I'm going to honor this day myself by working towards being the kind of mom that takes a breath and pauses when I'd rather groan in frustration. I'm going to allow myself to see how beautiful my job is as a caretaker and guide to these three growing humans. I'm going to do my best to stare straight into their eyes and wait for them to notice how loved they are in that moment. 

I'm going to ask for coffee in the morning and enjoy reheating it two hours later because I get to be among the ranks of so many hard working, lovely, worn out, resplendent, and aspiring hearts that tend to those that need them.

I have the privilege of sowing seeds of love, kindness, and courage that will take root and bring beauty. I get to share in their curiosity, creativity, and wide open possibilities. I get to bring more good things into this world through their little lives.

It's hard but it's beautiful. 

This year on Mother's Day I am ditching my internal eye rolls for intentional moments together. I'm hoping we get to spend a little more time getting our hands dirty, beautifying our front porch using this beautiful wooden potting bench c/o Ace Hardware, and making some solid memories. Ruby has laid claim to one special purple plant, named it Violet (it's a Petunia), and made a literal bed for it in her room complete with a cozy towel to rest on but the rest are safe and sound outside. 

No matter how you get to spend this Mother's Day, I hope your heart meets your circumstances with peace and love. And maybe some flowers. 

-Rachel

P.S. Thank you, Ace Hardware for the opportunity to make these memories. 

Smith's First Birthday

It's only JUST April so I'm not too late sharing Smith's birthday, right? We didn't throw a big party but we did get him some big balloons and let him enjoy his very own smash cake. Brett was recovering from the flu and the kids had a snow day so even though it fell on a weekday, we were all able to be together all day to give our littlest Denbow some extra love. 

Ruby helped me mix the cake but I separated some batter for a smash cake and then separated the remaining batter into three pans without realizing I needed to let it bake a little less than usual. I got busy cleaning and keeping Smith off the top of the step ladder and then pulled out a lovely smash cake and three pans of something that resembled the texture of cookies and broke off in chunks when I tried to remove them.

We were needing to let it all cool and frost before his next nap so I didn't have time to make another one so I improvised and just told the kids that ugly cake still tasted good! More on that later.

Smith's smash cake is the shape of one of my Pyrex bowls because I didn't have a large enough aluminum can to use as a mold. My heart was set on letting him have his own, though, so I did what I always do when I don't have what I need and found the next best thing. I am nothing if not resourceful these days!

As you can see, he started out slowly and then realized sugar tastes amazing and that he needed it all over his face. This last photo above is actually right when we took it off his tray so we could let him open presents. He was not happy with us.

We let the kids pick out what they wanted to give Smith and since he mostly sticks things in his mouth or bangs them on hard surfaces, we all decided little Beanie Babies from the flea market would be a good choice. Also, a ball and some Hot Wheels because duh. He was happy enough just having his big brother indulge him in a game of drop it from the highchair and have it retrieved for you. 

After presents I carved out the softest parts from the cake pans and layered them up with cream cheese frosting and told the kids that we were getting our own smash cakes. They got to add their own sprinkles and in the end it tasted just as good because cream cheese frosting covers a multitude of baking mistakes.

This boy was such a gift after a few years of wondering if we'd be able to add a third to our family and he loves his brother and sister like they hung the moon. I love being able to see how their relationships are already unique to each of them but real and true and thankfully mostly loving since he's not quite broken any of their stuff at this point.

The most special part of the day was when we were able to Face Time with three sets of family members and he took his first step, second step, and third step while we were on the phone with each of them. I kind of jumped the gun claiming he'd be walking by his first birthday but he helped me save face by technically attempting to all on his own. Thanks, buddy. 

I have never been more sleepy in my life but I've never been more aware of the sweetness the love of a child can offer as with my third. He's always wanting to be held but he's also always grabbing my face to offer a kiss. He still wakes me up a few times a night but he's got the brightest eyes for me each morning. He's teaching me so much about paying attention even though I can see how quickly this time flies in the form of my eight-year-old that towers above him. Weren't we just doing this for the first time?

I can't wait for all of the birthdays to come with this crew. SO many cakes in our future! My chances of getting it right one of these days is pretty good.

-Rachel

P.S. I recently posted about how this man almost came into this world at a school meeting the night he was born. Read about that here. 

Smith's Fast and Furious Home Birth Story

Our sweet Smith turned one last week and as I found myself reminiscing over the last year, I realized I had never shared the details of his birth story in this space. I appreciate not everyone is really into birth stories but I couldn't read enough of them each time I was pregnant. So, I'm putting this out there both as a documentation of this special event in our lives and for those who may be anticipating their own. I'm also leaving out the squirmy parts for those of you who don't enjoy TOO many details. Ha!

Let's start with how much harder this pregnancy was than my first two. I was more exhausted and nauseous in my first trimester, started Braxton Hicks almost every day in my second, and had me thinking I was in preterm labor at 29 weeks, 33 weeks, and 37 weeks. Not to mention I was borderline for gestational diabetes and ended up with high blood pressure towards the end.

I was anxious and exhausted because Brett was deployed for the first four months and I was mostly non-functioning except the essentials of feeding my kids and making sure they got outside every now and then. It seemed like every few weeks something else would happen to make me think something terrible was wrong with me or the baby. Hormones turned me into a crazy, cranky, waddling mess that last month. In fact, the night I went into labor Sebastian told Brett he hoped this was for real so I'd stop being so cranky all the time! 

Brett and I were planning on another home birth even though our insurance would fully cover a hospital delivery on post at Ft. Carson. It was such a great experience having Ruby at home in Missouri and much different than Sebastian's natural birth in the hospital. I was so thankful for that first time being in a place I felt safe (the hospital) and supported by hippy nurses and a Dr that understood my desire to have as few interventions as possible.

With Ruby I felt more confident that as long as I had a low risk pregnancy I'd be able to do the hard work but have more control over the process, and in turn, have an easier and more intimate experience. You can read Ruby's birth story here. Sebastian was born before I started blogging so that one is just burned into my memory.

I started visits with my midwife at her clinic around 11 weeks and remained confident that even though I wasn't as active this time due to being so much more exhausted and then having too much activity trigger regular contractions that I'd stay within the low risk range. Towards the end, my blood pressure started to rise and essential oils and herbal supplements were bringing it back down to low levels but not keeping it there consistently. I was told I may have to transfer care to an OB. I was devastated. 

The emotions that flooded my heart those next two days caught me off guard and I was left feeling unprepared, unsupported, and scared. What if something is wrong with the baby already? What if my blood pressure continues to rise and I have a stroke? What if it turns into preeclampsia? What if I have to have an emergency c-section? How am I going to find an OB that understands where we're coming from at 37 weeks pregnant? What if I go into labor and have the baby in the car on the way to the Army hospital twenty minutes away because it's snowing outside? ALL THE SCARY THINGS.

I hadn't been preparing for a hospital birth, much less a c-section, as a possibility because I knew what my body was capable of and had done my homework again this time around. We'd saved our money and paid the midwife in full and had just received most of the items we'd ordered for our home birth kit the day before. I just felt like I'd been studying for the wrong test this whole time and grew quite anxious that I was going to end up stuck in bed recovering from surgery without anyone to take care of me or my three kids because the Army only gives you ten days and my family were far away and still had to go to work themselves. ALL THE ANXIETY.

You can imagine that kind of anxiety only helped my blood pressure get higher but after a few good cries and sharing how I really felt with Brett and some mama friends I was able to open up to the idea that I didn't have control over how this birth was going to play out and never really did. I started reading message boards regarding high blood pressure and deliveries and adjusted my attitude again. A healthy baby and a healthy mama were the main goals. 

We were able to find the crunchiest OB in town at a hospital closer than the one on post and had a great first visit with her on my 38th week marker. She told me to stop checking my blood pressure three times a day and just watch for signs that something was really wrong instead. She put me at ease and told me we didn't need to talk about induction until the following week, March 5th. I went home so thankful that I had another week to let our baby grow and have a chance to come out on it's own. Also, I took her advice and only checked my blood pressure once that week and it was back down. 

I woke up the morning of March 5th with contractions in my back and happening every five minutes or so. I told Brett to go ahead to work because we'd been through this before a few times and he had an important meeting he was presenting at. He got Sebastian off to school and I got Ruby set up with the iPad and jumped in the shower just in case this was real. Things completely stopped so I called Brett and told him to stay at work and got Ruby and myself ready for my 39 week apt that morning. 

My blood pressure was back in the normal range at my apt and I had progressed so my OB said it was possible I could be having that baby soon and that we didn't need to induce. She told me she wasn't on call that night, though, and teased that I'd better wait until at least 7 am the next morning to go into labor. I had to come back that afternoon for an ultrasound and stress test so we went for lunch and I filled everyone in on the latest. My midwife texted back and told me if my blood pressure had indeed gone back down to a normal range we might still be able to do a home birth. I was elated! 

I went back to the clinic and had a great ultrasound and stress test and started having the sporadic contractions that had been coming and going for weeks. I picked Sebastian up from school and then rushed home to put a pizza in the oven and prepare a snack for the parents' meeting we had to drive back over for. I was starting to feel worn out from all the running around all day and almost decided not to go but the kids had prepared a special presentation on their instruments and Sebastian was so excited. 

Still with me? We drove the fifteen minutes back to his school for the potluck/presentation and climbed up the stairs to be met with a busy room and a long line for food. I teased his teacher that we might have a baby in her classroom and then sat myself down next to a mama friend and waited for Brett to meet us straight from work. The contractions established themselves quite firmly around 7:15 pm and I found myself having to shift in my chair to get through them while still trying to hold a conversation with the mom next to me. Once the meeting had ended my sweet husband, not realizing I was now in labor, volunteered to help clean up. I finally pulled him away and told the few moms that were still there that things were getting real.

Brett walked down to retrieve the kids from the gym and I slowly waddled to the car. I remember still wondering if this was real or if I had overdone things again and just needed to drink a lot of water and rest. I was obviously in denial. I switched cars with Brett so he could take the kids and then we hit every red light on the way home. I thought I might have to pull over in between contractions! Twenty minutes later I waddled inside our house and told Brett to call the midwife just in case. I wasn't about to rush to the hospital if it was safe enough for me to have this baby at home. If things escalated we had always planned on transferring care so I was confident that we could labor at home until we had any signs that we needed to transfer. 

Long story short, I had to lay down, focus my breathing, and work hard as soon as we got inside. We got the kids picked up from our friend down the street and somehow managed to get the shower curtain liner on the bed and covered with another flat sheet so I didn't make any messes. Brett was rushing around making sure doors were unlocked, the heat was on, the dog was tied up, clean towels were available, there was warm water in the tub for laboring, etc. while we waited for the midwife to come from way north of town. She'd been at another 36 hour delivery that had only ended a few hours prior and had been resting when we called. 

Soon after she arrived, I hit transition and there was no turning back. We were having that baby at home whether we wanted to or not and thankfully there weren't signs that either of us were in distress. I climbed in the labor tub to help me manage the pain of transition and fifteen minutes later, for the first time in all three labors, I had the urge to push and my body took over. Two big pushes in the dimly lit dining room and we had a baby! I was so happy and so relieved that we'd done it that it took me awhile to remember to check to see if we had a girl or a boy!

My midwife gently lifted him out of the water so we could decide if it was a Sloane or a Smith and I remember feeling like I'd known all along that he was going to be a boy. I loved that we were able to enjoy that exciting surprise this third time around and will forever be thankful that Brett talked me into waiting to find out. 

As soon as we could we called our families to share the good news and they were all a bit surprised that it was only two-and-a-half hours after we'd originally called to say it was finally happening. I remember thinking that even though he was my smallest baby by a full pound, he looked just like Ruby when she was born. He was a week ahead of schedule but it was the greatest gift to be able to have him join us when he did-on his own terms and sooner rather than later.

We both got checked over by the midwife and her assistants and just enjoyed that afterglow that comes with getting to hold your child in your arms for the first time. The kids were asleep by the time Smith was born so they stayed over at our friends' house and got to meet their new brother (and skip school) first thing the next morning. They were both so proud.

Looking back I'm so thankful for the way things played out. I know it's such an honor and gift to have welcomed another healthy child to our family but to have been able to have that happen in the sanctuary of our own home with a set of qualified caregivers that we knew and trusted was so special. It took so much of the fear of labor away from my experience and helped me relax and let my body do it's work as I knew it probably could, at least this last time. I'm also so much more aware how little control we have over the way babies enter this world, even when we do all we can to prepare for the outcome we hope for most. 

Three babies in my arms in eight years. I am learning more and more about motherhood, and childhood for that matter, with each one. They make me crazy some days but they make me better, too. 

-Rachel